Excuses, Excuses!

I'm never rude to other people about their weight.  I don't call people names for being fat.  Quite honestly, I feel it's none of my business.  If you are happy and content with whatever weight you are at, it is not my place to judge and I respect your right to live your life however you choose.

HOWEVER, once you start volunteering excuses for why you can't lose weight that you WANT TO LOSE, I think you open yourself up for a little constructive criticism.

In a past life I worked as a Personal Trainer and I've learned a few things about losing weight.  For starters, the Laws of Thermodynamics apply to everyone, including you.  This law is pretty simple, in that, in layman's terms, it just means that if you burn more calories than you consume, you will lose weight.  There are a few factors that can affect this equation, like metabolism, genetic predisposition and, in very rare instances, thyroid problems.

I've outlined a few actual excuses I have heard, and added what I think is the obvious solution:

1.  "I don't have time to exercise."
Answer:  I call Bullshit on this one.  But whatever - if you don't want to make time to exercise, then start eating like a supermodel.  Cut out all LDL fats, refined sugars and simple carbs from your diet.  Keep your caloric intake under 1,200 calories.

2.  "I have an old injury that prevents me from exercising."
Answer:  Again, I call Bullshit.  If you can walk, you can exercise.  If you're in a walker or a wheelchair, do some upper body exercises.  If you're neither in a walker or a wheelchair, and it hurts to do a specific activity, find another activity to do.  Elliptical machines are zero impact and most people can do them.  And they burn a lot of calories in a relatively short period of time.  And if you just don't like to exercise, stop blaming it on your injuries.  See Item #1, and "start eating like a supermodel."

3.  "I can't afford to go on a diet."
Answer:  Really?!!!  How is that even possible?  Eating LESS food is really costing you money?  Bullshit.

4.  "I'm a picky eater."
Answer:  Then don't eat.  Because that Pepperoni Pizza, Cheeseburger, French Fry, "little kid" diet that you're eating is killing you.  I've noticed a common theme among self-proclaimed "picky eaters," in that they have no qualms with eating junk food.  Vegetables are your friends and are very tasty when prepared right.  Just say "No!" to McDonald's.  And call your parents up and yell at them for not teaching you better eating habits.

5.  "I have a thyroid problem."
Answer:  Really?  You've been DIAGNOSED by a physician as having a thyroid problem?  Or you diagnosed yourself?  If you diagnosed yourself, then get in to see a doctor and have THEM confirm your suspicions.  If you really do have a thyroid problem, medication and/or treatments can fix that.  Stop dallying - your health is at risk.

6.  "I have a slow metabolism."
Answer:  You're right,  you do.  And it's all your own fault.  Your lethargic lifestyle, poor eating habits and yo-yo diets have jacked up your metabolism.  Go get yourself a book that explains the Food Pyramid.  Start eating healthy.  Drink more water.  Become more active.  Voila!  Metabolism is FIXED.

7.  "I'm an Emotional Eater."
Answer:  Someone said this to my husband and I laughed when he told me.  Cry me a river.  If your argument is that you have no control over what and how much food you cram into your own mouth and then swallow, then book yourself several months worth of psychological counseling.  Go fix what's broken in your head, before you do irrepairable harm to your body, and teach your children your idiotic eating habits, too.