Holding Down the Home Frontier

I Love my Dear Husband so. We spend oodles of quality time together, with him working from home and me, helping him work from home. It is always with a heavy heart that I bear to see him travel without me. I have learned how to cope, though.
For instance, for the next few days he is away on business. And I am here with Gunny and Lola. I have made a list of chores, tasks and otherwise grave sacrifices for Team Mickey, to make the time pass by faster until he and I can once again be united in Marital Bliss.
Today I will make the arduous trek to Hubbel and Hudson to the gourmet grocery section, where I will re-stock our dwindling supply of O'Brien's Seduction. And maybe a few other choice reds of equal caliber, along with some excellent imported cheeses, restaurant grade cuts of meat, and flavored salts.
But not before running 4 miles on the treadmill. Although my Dear Husband would love me as a size 12, I prefer to save HIM money by staying in my Size 2 jeans, for eternity. I am such a Good Wife that way.
Monday I have agreed to allow the Spa in town to try out their new Chemical Peel products on me. I hope to look 10 years younger when Mickey returns. While there I will pick up a new set of intimate decolletage in which to adorn myself for his viewing pleasure.
Another 4 miles on Monday, and I will by that time be in need of a massage. I might go for an hour and a half this time.
Tuesday the weather is predicted to be Superb circumstances for obtaining a stunning tan (wearing a hat, of course, since I will have just had a Chemical Peel).

Wednesday I will run another 4 miles, and do enough crunches and oblique reps to rival an olympic swimmer. My Dear Husband loves my ripped up belly. Weather permitting I will lay out again.

Thursday any of the adverse affects from the Chemical Peel should be barely (if at all) noticeable. And just in time for my Baby to finally make it back HOME. Where I will be tanned, buff, skin aglow, greeting him wearing my new lingerie.

It's a tough life but good for me I'm up for the Challenge.

We can't all be Barbies.

Maybe She's Not ENTIRELY Retarded

The term "retarded" is one of my most favorite and widely-used adjectives, used to describe people who are NOT intellectually challenged but rather act as if they are. Which I find offensive to all legitimately retarded people everywhere. BUT, if you are offended by my use of the adjective, "retarded" or the noun, "retard", or the shortened version, "tard", please do yourself a HUGE favor and read no further, lest I point out how fucking retarded you are.

Mickey and I lovingly refer to Lola as our Retarded child. She does retarded things like eating her own poop, chewing sheetrock, jumping on Gunny's back, running through the house at break neck speed hoping someone, ANYONE will chase after her, and licking the onions in the hanging basket.

Last week I spotted a rawhide up on an end table, and I assumed that the Cleaning Fairies had swept it from under a piece of furniture and placed it there. That is, until Mickey told me that he caught Lola putting another rawhide on the same, VERY TALL end table. Tall enough, in fact, that Gunny, who weighs the same as Lola but is a good 8 inches shorter, cannot reach it.

This made me laugh. And pause to consider that perhaps Lola is not Retarded after all. I told Mickey that was funny and he said that no, it was MEAN and Lola was not sharing her toys.

So am I supposed to stop calling her Lola and Tard and start calling her Lola the Meanie? Or how about Stingy Lola?

I don't know. She still eats her own poop. So I'm sticking with Lola the Tard.

The Joy of Home Owning

I really don't know how I functioned when I had to drive into a "real job" every day. Taking care of this house (and the dogs and Mickey) really IS a full time job.

Since having this house built almost 3 years ago, I've lost count of how much money we've dumped into it. Outdoor lighting, sprinkler system, clearing and leveling the back yard, fence, more grass, more mulch, plants, trees, and the very popular and powerful FIRE PIT. It's in the tens of thousands already.

Our next project is to extend the back porch (which is currently a beaten down muddy area where Lola likes to eat dirt). I'm having a quote put together right now. I want to have an arched ceiling with a ceiling fan, a stone half wall, with an electrical outlet for a hot tub. And then I want to have a star etched into the concrete and have the entire area stained and glazed.

It's going to look so cool. I'll be sure and post pictures after it's completed.

Got it Right this Time

Most days I wake up and have to pinch myself. Sometimes I pinch Mickey - he hates that. I have been truly blessed to have such a good life.

Sure, there is the occasional Bump in the Road. But the difference now is that Mickey and I work as a Team to navigate life's inevitable hurdles. Together.

Who would have ever GUESSED that when I met Mickey all of those years ago, that we would still be together, much less, together FOREVER? There are times, usually around our anniversary, that Mickey and I talk of how grateful we are to Leisa, our mutual friend who tried for over six months to get us to meet each other, and finally succeeded.

Thank you Leisa! I couldn't be happier.